Note to 15 year old self…

BLACKPOOL, ENGLAND - AUGUST 07:  The classic s...
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Dear Lindsay,
I know you’re all Rebellious and whatnot. I know, I know, you want to get the heck out of suburbia and never, ever come back.

I know you listen to Fugazi and kick up into a headstand over and over again during Waiting Room because it feels like some sort of change, all that blood rushing to your head. It feels like the freedom of adulthood, when you’ll say, “See ya, suckers!” and hit…well, somewhere. Somewhere bigger and better and more special and just rainbows and punk rock lollipops every day. Cause really, isn’t that what all 15 year olds think is coming??

And of course, I know that the old 9:30 Club in DC is your haven. The place where you first snuck off to see Peter Murphy, and nothing was ever the same.

Here’s a funny joke for you, little girl.

You’re all grown up. You live 3 miles from the room you’re currently kicking holes into with your Doc Martens and your inversions. You TALK to your MOM, like, all the time. You call her one of your best friends.

And you pay a babysitter to go to the NEW 9:30 Club. That’s right, your little rat-infested hole in the wall is now one of the best clubs in the country. Last night, you went to a 30th Anniversary party there for the 9:30 Club.

Cause in the future? You’re old.

But here’s the part I don’t even know how to explain.

Everything you thought was somewhere else is here. Your husband played the 9:30 Club show last night. And you were proud of how he works his fingers off every day for rock and roll. All the time you had Thanksgiving in October or birthdays for your kids in a different month? They all made sense last night.

You saw Henry Rollins stand on stage and introduce your Hub’s band, Clutch, and call them “The hardest touring band in rock and roll,”.

And when he came off stage, you were ok enough in your skin to walk over, shake his hand, and say, “Mr. Rollins, thank you for that beautiful introduction…”

Yeah, Grown-up You called Henry Rollins Mr.- Gah, we’re such a goody two shoes!

And you stood next to Ian McKaye sidestage and rocked out to Troublefunk till the wee hours of the morning. You almost choked up a few times, thinking about the magic of the 9:30 Club, and the transportative powers of rock and roll. And the best part is that you never really even had to run as far as you did to find all the great basslines in the world.

On that note: 1. Don’t run away. Who’ll take your braces off, stupid?
2. Stop smoking Benson and Hedges Menthol- they’re ridiculous. Switch to…I don’t know, Camels or something.
3. Really, truly, be nicer to your brother. He’s good people.

This is Grown Up you, (HAH!) signing off and saying, go listen to some Bob Marley. Cause I promise you, little girl.

Every little thing is gonna be all right.

In fact, happier than you can imagine. Hang in there, kiddo.

Love, Me

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Comments (20)

  1. Mindee@ourfrontdoor Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    Ha! I love this. Of course you know that your 15 yo self won't listen to you, right? Because she's super-cool and knows EVERYTHING. .-= Mindee@ourfrontdoor´s last blog ..For The Love Of An Imaginary Friend =-.
    • rockrollmama Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
      Mindee- HAH! I know, 15 year old me has her fingers in her ears and is all, "I can't HEAR you...LALALALALA....OLD...LALALLA.." LMAO. Thanks for stopping by!
  2. sarah pekkenen Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    What a fantastic post - your hubby must be just as proud of you. Go Lindsey - both your 15-year-old self and your fabulous, current self!
    • rockrollmama Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
      Thanks, Sarah Barah- It's just so nice to have those nights where we can step back and go, "Oh Yeah! THIS is why we do this! " Like when your book came out.:) WHICH, by the way, my 13 yr old boy is reading right now. Tell your publisher there's an odd secondary market.:) MWAH!
  3. Jo G. Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    • rockrollmama Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
      Awww, Jo G. This one knew my 19 year old self- she needs quite a talking to, 19 year old Lindsay. But we had fun, didn't we?:) Jo, I thought of all our St. Mary's peeps when the Pietasters played last night. Member when they came to our school? So fun.
  4. Jessica Smith Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    Lindsay I love this. While my soul doesn't connect to rock and roll like yours does, this post still moved me. Now can you write a letter to my 20 year old self and tell her that hangover inducing frat parties are not worth having to ditch class the next day for and that I shouldn't take the teasing about me being online all the time personally because I will use that more than College Algebra throughout my entire career (oh wait, my 20 year old self WAS right about that!) This is so awesome. I can totally picture the 15 year old you and while I didn't know you then, I adore the woman she's become! .-= Jessica Smith´s last blog ..hey amber rae: Turn Your Traffic Into Valuable User Data =-.
    • rockrollmama Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
      Jess, I'm cracking up at the thought of all the maths we could have skipped had we known how much more valuable troubleshooting software installations would prove to us.:) I know, there's so much we could tell us that old us-es wouldn't get- I picture a Back to the Future type video where teenaged uses are like, "What-EVER. Grandma. And are those KHAKIS you're wearing???" Ha. I love how you grew up, too. I remember how much me teenaged friends meant to me- (some, still, Hollal Jen H!) and feel so grateful to have found amazing grownup friends who are stellar- you rock my world.:) xoxo, L
  5. Jerseygirl89 Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    What a great post - and I bet even your 15 year old self would have said, "Mr. Rollins" in his presence. .-= Jerseygirl89´s last blog ..True Confession Tuesday: Books =-.
  6. Allie Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    I love that you would tell yourself to be nicer yo your brother- I would be nicer to everyone in my family. I'm w/ Jessica I need to write to my 20 yr old self- mostly warnings about frat boys, beer and certain nights that I should have stayed home and washed my hair. I wonder if my mom still has my Docs somewhere hurried beneath my My Little Ponie collection.
  7. Lauren Wednesday - 02 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    I loved this post! And if I didn't love my life I'd totally want yours. When I was in high school I remember hearing about the 9:30 Club and the bands I loved playing there. I always knew it was a part of music history. Maybe I'll go there someday and rock my face off.
  8. rockrollmama Wednesday - 02 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    Jersey Girl: You have a very valid point, Mr. Rollins looks so authoritarian it just seems wisest.:) But what a nice guy. Ally: Darn tootin, but i think 15 year old me was so convinced adults are the devil that my Bro was the only one I could convince her of. Yes, I thought the imaginary argument through in my head...ROTFL. :) Let's rock docs nect time I see you.:) Lauren: This is so sweet, mama. It's GOOD to love your life, and I hope you're loving the new house and that Peanut is getting so big! She's such a sweet girl. You rock in any state. You know this.:)
  9. Mel Thursday - 03 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    I am twitching in excitement just at the thought of standing next to Ian McKaye so I can't imagine what it was like to be you and actually have it happen. I often wonder if our paths crossed on the DC music scene back in the late 80s/early 90s.
  10. WPoFD Saturday - 05 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    I remember 15yo Lin.; you'd so be the super cool Aunt she wanted. You know, like how your Mom is today. If I could add one thing, it'd be to remind her to look around at her friends then & now ... a lot of familiar faces. Good to know you all these years - thanks for letting me float in and out. Both of you are incredible people.
  11. LoveFeast Table Sunday - 06 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    Did you see Justin Jones at the show as well? He's a new up and coming...hubby to long time friend and hairdresser! I missed the show but heard the evening was a blast! I know my grown up kids get a bit older...will re-embrace live shows! 'Cause when you've seen Smashing Pumpkins, Lenny Kravitz, Red Hot, Screaming Trees, PIL....and many others, that juice keeps flowing through your veins. Ok, I must admit, I will never revisit the Stryper days dressed in yellow and black leggins and super huge teased hair, even if you paid me! ~kristin .-= LoveFeast Table´s last blog ..Fancy Friday City Murals =-.
  12. melissa Saturday - 12 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    every once in awhile, we need to have a talk with that young girl that we used to walk around as. i LOVE this post. you. rock.
  13. Melissa Sunday - 08 / 08 / 2010 Reply
    PS to 15-year-old-self: pieces of your mom's chandelier do NOT make cool earrings. (LOVE this post!)
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