I know you’re all Rebellious and whatnot. I know, I know, you want to get the heck out of suburbia and never, ever come back.
I know you listen to Fugazi and kick up into a headstand over and over again during Waiting Room because it feels like some sort of change, all that blood rushing to your head. It feels like the freedom of adulthood, when you’ll say, “See ya, suckers!” and hit…well, somewhere. Somewhere bigger and better and more special and just rainbows and punk rock lollipops every day. Cause really, isn’t that what all 15 year olds think is coming??
And of course, I know that the old 9:30 Club in DC is your haven. The place where you first snuck off to see Peter Murphy, and nothing was ever the same.
Here’s a funny joke for you, little girl.
You’re all grown up. You live 3 miles from the room you’re currently kicking holes into with your Doc Martens and your inversions. You TALK to your MOM, like, all the time. You call her one of your best friends.
And you pay a babysitter to go to the NEW 9:30 Club. That’s right, your little rat-infested hole in the wall is now one of the best clubs in the country. Last night, you went to a 30th Anniversary party there for the 9:30 Club.
Cause in the future? You’re old.
But here’s the part I don’t even know how to explain.
Everything you thought was somewhere else is here. Your husband played the 9:30 Club show last night. And you were proud of how he works his fingers off every day for rock and roll. All the time you had Thanksgiving in October or birthdays for your kids in a different month? They all made sense last night.
You saw Henry Rollins stand on stage and introduce your Hub’s band, Clutch, and call them “The hardest touring band in rock and roll,”.
And when he came off stage, you were ok enough in your skin to walk over, shake his hand, and say, “Mr. Rollins, thank you for that beautiful introduction…”
Yeah, Grown-up You called Henry Rollins Mr.- Gah, we’re such a goody two shoes!
And you stood next to Ian McKaye sidestage and rocked out to Troublefunk till the wee hours of the morning. You almost choked up a few times, thinking about the magic of the 9:30 Club, and the transportative powers of rock and roll. And the best part is that you never really even had to run as far as you did to find all the great basslines in the world.
On that note: 1. Don’t run away. Who’ll take your braces off, stupid?
2. Stop smoking Benson and Hedges Menthol- they’re ridiculous. Switch to…I don’t know, Camels or something.
3. Really, truly, be nicer to your brother. He’s good people.
This is Grown Up you, (HAH!) signing off and saying, go listen to some Bob Marley. Cause I promise you, little girl.
Every little thing is gonna be all right.
In fact, happier than you can imagine. Hang in there, kiddo.
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