I’m disappointed.
Truly. Deeply. Seriously.
This??? This was necessary?
Freelance journalist Jennifer Mendelsohn (and, like, Mom-mee blogger! Who like, luuuuurves American Idol. But, like, shhh. ) chose to use her national forum, her chance to help translate a piece of feminine culture to the larger world, to…
Be a total mean girl.
She pulled the grown-up version of junior high school school girls bringing along someone they kinda hate just to mock them.
Jennifer used her press pass to get into the Baltimore Bloggy Boot Camp (I’m assuming, she may have payed: I wouldn’t know, since the MEDIA don’t have to disclose when they get in for free- just moms.)
She watched, she listened, she talked. I wince when I picture it in my head- the openness of our community, the way we share information with women who ask. How that’s the basis of the space she entered- and betrayed.
Then she pulled a total Rita Skeeter, a la Harry Potter.
You came in as one of us, albeit one of us with flashier bylines than Blogspot. Yes, of course you disclosed you were writing for the Times. But by also wearing the flag of your blog and your kids, you imply an allegiance and a belonging that you fail miserably to uphold. And maybe it made it clear that you weren’t one of THEM- no, you’re the SMART girl.
How can you claim journalistic objectivity on this topic, when your biases are so painfully obvious? Or do Times editors prefer snark.
Never mind that the tweets in your timeline read like a “Mommy blogger” (and oh, how that makes me throw up in my mouth to write) I’d love to hang out with. You seem real, funny, honest about the fatigue, mundanity, and fun.
On YOUR presences. Not so much in the Times. Then you’re like the new Fiancee in Legally Blonde the first day of law school.
Here’s you this morning, la la la, mommying along:
“The laundry ramifications of this morning’s mudpie making adventure are of Biblical proportions.” Wow. That was sure worth the two minutes it took for you to divert your attention from your kids.
But it made you feel better to share it. Just like it makes us all feel better to share the things we choose to put forth.
You mocked that imperative, even as you do it. You’re building a brand, sure enough. You have a lovely agent (Kate’s one of the good ones, from my research before landing with my own) at a huge agency.
You’re “dipping your toes”, as you put it, back into Journalism. And building some street cred, and them maybe trying to sell a book? I don’t know, I’m guessing here.
And yet you won’t let other mothers do the same with their personal goals, without judging the worth of their endeavors publicly.
Their revenue model may not be the same as yours, or you may feel your blog’s different since you’re a “real” journalist. I’ve sometimes mentally used that crutch, when I weary of the eternal push/pull of what could be called the Ancient Pure Storytellers vs. The Dirty Money Couponers.
Or, the Epic Battle of those Who Fight the Fruitless Battle of Policing Other’s Behavior.
I’m here for a purpose, I think. I‘m not getting bogged down.
I came here to build a brand, to write a book, It’s going rather well. Have a BA in Journalism, national bylines, blah de blah de blah.
I present myself as a professional, and when I’m at events and someone says, “Oh, you’re a mommyblogger!” I say, “No, I’m…” my official fancy title that involves Business Development VP of an education startup- which I scored through…oh yeah. A conference I attended because of my blog.
Not because I’m ashamed of my stretchmarks or community, but the only folks who can call me mommy came from my naughty bits.
That’s just me, if you’re a blogger and you’re cool with it, rock on. I’m cool with that.
I DON’T JUDGE YOU. Though I do wish the media, news pieces, and, ummm, OTHER MOMS, would quit painting all female kid having bloggers with the same female wide brush version of Forrest Gump on Xanax and Stepford wives with a Blackberry in their cramped Twittering claw.
I’m sitting in a session at SXSW Interactive right now. I’m speaking on a core conversation and a panel tomorrow- because of blogging.
Ooh, and my kids aren’t here. Cause I’m buildimg my brand. Wanna take away my free tsotchkes?
Blogher’s Political Director, Erin Kotecki Vest, was also at SXSW. (@queenofspain on Twitter) Last night, she tweeted:
“So rory cooper of heritage foundation just said women bloggers were cute and patted me on the head”.
Then, a few minutes later, she followed up with:
“Tired of being disappointed in people who could be so much more. Tired.”
Me too, Erin. Me too. At least he didn’t call you mommy, I guess.
Jennifer- from your tweets and the little bit I read of your blog, (Pretty slammed, my “mommy blogger” book proposal’s due in two days- maybe I’ll get a free juicer from someone if I turn it in early!!!) it seems like we could have dished on Paula’s pain killer habit or whether Simon really needed to be so harsh.
It’s a shame that you decided that all the moms who share your digital habits, but not your exact same motivations or writing pedigree, are not worthy of the bandwidth it takes to keep their big headed cartoon avatar loading quickly.
But I’m here to tell you, you get out of a community what you put into it, and I’ve been enriched beyond measure in the past eighteen months since I established an online presence. As a writer, personally, and oh my good gracious professionally.
And I’ve fallen in love with many different kinds of bloggers.
Frugal, crafty, fashion, beauty, Christian Homeschool, Green, Political, resource, education. Soshes, Greasers, Sharks and Jets. I’ve learned from so many voices, and I’ve cried with them when they had trials. And they were my angels and cheerleaders, as two close family members fought cancer.
I’ve weighed my presence, privacy, how to treat others in my life. I’ve tried to take part in the conversations that shape how business is done, and I’ve broken new ground with major brands on how they engage our services.
While you diss other moms on the NYT and put video of your three year old on your own site, all the while joking that you’re “exploiting” him.
You may think that when you, as a quote unquote “Smart” mom, does it, it’s ironic. “I’m so not one of THOSE, ‘m not part of THAT community. I wrote for People!”
No. You’re not. But it’s not for the reasons you think.
It’s not what you have that elevates you above it, but the engagement you lack that makes you unworthy to mock it.
Maybe you should go watch some TV and leave community to the ones who actually care to be here.
And have a GREAT time promoting that book. Your brand building seems to be really taking off!
Hope the NYT reviews it- they seem to be your Tribe.
You could’ve been a voice of reason, like Liz Gumbinner, Isabel Kallman, or Christine Koh. Could have shown some leadership and a different version of what the media usually runs with.
I’m not disappointed in the Times- totally par for the course on their party line.
But I’m really disappointed in you.
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