Recovering from amusement park…

All right! So we’re back from our whirlwind getaway. It was very fun, J brought a friend, and E and W were age appropriately dazzled by Hershey Park. Somehow I’ve lived in this area for 34 years off and on and never been there. (Ahem. MOM???) So this was awesome. 

We did pick the hottest two days to date this year to do it, and I sunblocked the bejesus out of everyone except…you guessed it…Me! At least not my back. So I’m kind of fried. I have kind of a denial thing that my one drop of Cherokee blood will protect me from sunburn, but it hasn’t so far. One day, I will learn. 

So amusement parks apparently bring out the conspiracy theorist/intensely anxious person in me. I kept thinking what a great place they would be for a terrorist attack, the consoling myself with the knowledge that surely Disney is a better target. Much higher profile. 

Then, every ride I considered going on or allowing the kids to go on, I’d first envision the many ways it could all go horribly wrong. After I finished explaining to Dan that I was afraid that I would be the first person to manage to fall out of the log flume and be crushed by the boat thingy, he shook his head and said, “You’re living in an apocalyptic world.” To which I replied, “But I pack for it.” And that, at an amusement park, is a great thing. 

E and I went on the honeybucket things that afford you a great view of the park.  She was excited, chattering about the sights, and all I could think was that we were hanging by a cable and I could feel the thing bouncing. I don’t even like suspension bridges! But I was able to talk myself down, focusing on just what she was pointing out and denying my own inner panic. “That IS pretty water! It DOES NOT look too deep!” muffling the inner screams of “Please don’t let this honeybucket fall wait… we’re over a bush… we’d be fine here. NOOOOOO not over a roller coaster!!!” 

Afterward, she was very proud. “I wasn’t scared, Mommy, even though my feet hung down.”  (So apparently I’ve passed on my fear of feet not being grounded.) And I said, “You are SO BRAVE!” And she is. And she makes me be braver, cause I’m the mom, and sometimes you just have to let gravity do its job. Oh..and if you guys hear I’m going to another amusement park…throw some Zoloft my way first.  

Here’s a list of dorky things I did, Griswald-style,  in no particular order. 

1. Wore sunglasses on head and regular glasses on face into gas station to pay for gas. Also, bathing suit top with white wet tank top. We will call it “Post Amusement park fashion faux pas”. As in, oops, left the gates, no longer appropriate attire. 

2. At same gas station, bought coffee and dumped two sugars into trash can before realizing trash can IS NOT my coffee. A quick look revealed no observers.

3. In minivan, J and friend were having a spirited discussion about something (in the way back), when I hear, from my kid, “Oh yeah? Well, Mary Poppins is pregnant!” So I say, “Hey! That is NOT APPROPRIATE, blah blah. ” Then a pause, and I hear coming out of my mouth, “Was she even dating anyone?” Spouse hangs head. Why, mouth? Why???

4. Dan and I were discussing “Lost”, as is so often the case, and talking about how in real life the actress who plays Kate is married to the actor who plays Charlie. Again, mouth to brain connection lacking, I say, “Do you think Sawyer and Jack were SO MAD???” 

5. Let me close with…leopard print bathing dress lady with whom I mixed it up with over chairs at the waterpark? If I catch you without your grandkids, you are going DOWN. You are soooo lucky your nice son-in-law in the Dropkick Murphy’s T-shirt came and smoothed things out, because…well. I pack a mean left hook. Grrrr. 

And with that, I am off to sleep and recover. Topical music post tomorrow.

xoxoxo,

L